Vows
by BrookeSutter
Summary: Clarke and Bellamy have an affair after Bellamy marries Echo and Clarke gets pregnant. Soon after, she leaves Bellamy (and Camp Jaha) so her child will have a better life. If only she could stay away from the place that always seems to pull her back. (Set 20 years after Clarke returns from her travels)
1. Introduction

Introduction:

_Dear Sergeant Blake,_

_ It's an understatement to say that we've all made mistakes during our time on Earth. Six months and it seems that we have destroyed every moral, every judgement, every sense of humanity that we had as doe-eyed children on the Ark. Truthfully, I speak for myself when I refer to us as doe-eyed. I was surely under the impression that I would do great things once I rightfully claimed my seat on the council. I was certain that I would save lives just like my mother instead of taking them just like the ruthless killers our ancestors were. Who was I to decide who lived and who died and for what cause they died for? I'm rambling only to get to a single point; it was a mistake to return after everything I did. I should have stayed away. Maybe if I had, this would have never started and we could have had our goodbye and a false promise to meet again for eternity instead of this awful situation. _

_ It took what wasn't mine to take. I am a thief and the worst type of thief. You would think after Finn I would have learned my lesson but I still pursued you, still slept with you despite your marriage to Echo. Sickly, I thought you were mine to have because you were once my partner, my friend, my only confidant. Stupidly, I convinced myself that having an affair with you was right. You couldn't care for her, right? You married her in my absence because I was gone and couldn't tell you that you were making a mistake. You married her because you didn't have a choice. You couldn't possibly love her because you love me. At least, you let me believe these things the whole time we were sneaking behind the backs of the people we care about—your sister, Jasper, Raven, and everyone else. But I was wrong because you do care for her so much so that when I told you I was pregnant with your child, you cried. And when I asked you to leave her—note, I didn't tell you to leave her—you rattled of some half-baked excuse on the matter. _

_ And I stayed with you because I was scared. I stayed with you and listened to all of your excuses and all of your false emotions concerning having a child with me. As if you could really be satisfied with our unique predicament. I, your faithful mistress, was knocked up and you would have to explain the reason why my child looked like you. You would have to tell your wife that you'd been cheating on her for the better part of three months._

_I stayed with you because I was momentarily weak and forgot I had the strength to walk away from this place—from you. That I had a choice to carry your child or not. Let me assure you that it is no longer a problem for your pretty little head to contemplate while you fuck your wife. I'm taking care of it. Getting me pregnant can be one of your most realistic nightmares and my return can be an erotic dream. _

_If I wasn't clear, Bellamy, I'm leaving you and I have no plans to ever return. What's done is done but I don't see any reason to ever bring it up. I wish we could part as friends and I wish our actions did not cripple me with this insane amount of guilt that I will carry, much like everything, for the rest of my life. I take full responsibility, though. I guess, really, I'm as oblivious as all the historical mistresses. To think that you could ever love someone as broken and screwed up as me sounds so unrealistic…especially after everything I've done. _

_Clarke. _

The moment she passed the letter off to Nathan Miller to deliver to Bellamy, she bolted. Her bags had been packed for days as she balanced her options. Clarke Griffin loved Bellamy Blake with every piece of her shattered heart. But, she found something—someone—who deserved her unconditional, undying love. She found the ultimate reason to leave the place she claimed she would never abandon again. A baby.

_His _baby.

It was never her intention to terminate the pregnancy—there were some lines that she could not cross. But lying to Bellamy seemed like the only logical thing to do. She knew him better than most—knew that he would want her to have the baby even if he could not be fully involved in his or her life. It was lodged into his head that every baby had the right to live after Octavia was born. But Clarke couldn't stand the thought of being labeled a _whore _or the thought of her child being degraded due to its conception. She couldn't swallow the thought of her child calling him "Uncle" or just "Bellamy" around camp, either.

This time her departure was not set out on without a precise plan. In her travels, she'd stumbled across a welcoming grounder tribe fascinated by her exaggerated legend. In this grounder clan, she'd met a man—a kind, compassionate, friendly man—named Church. He was an outcast from the Ice Nation, in fact the entire clan was made up of particular outcasts. Deformed individuals, moralists, peace-keepers, criminals, men and women on the run for treason, thieves, those who got married without permission…the list was endless but the point was clear; they accepted people as they came without a thought on their emotional baggage or their strange past or the fact that they fell from the sky. Church accepted her—befriended her at her lowest point in life and had offered her a place in the community if she ever needed it.

It was with this in mind that she could confidently leave and know that she was doing the best thing for her child before she became a modern-day Hester Prynne and her baby, Pearl.

**Review:**

**I have been turning this idea around in my head for a week now and I finally decided to put it to words. I completely understand if this doesn't get the amount of attention I hope it will because it's sort of WAY AU and probably a little complicated. **

**In summary, Clarke and Bellamy have an affair after she returns from her "soul-searching" journey following the events of Mount Weather. In her absence, Bellamy married Echo. **_**When I was writing the letter I was channeling Rory Gilmore and the moment she told her mom that Dean was hers after she lost her virginity to him.**_** Either way, Clarke fell in love with Bellamy under the impression that they were meant to be because they were in this "together" and because of their history. Honestly, she'd convinced herself that they weren't doing anything wrong and he was **_**hers **_**to have when it reality, she crossed a line with him. As if it weren't already a shit-storm of emotions and problems, she gets pregnant. Foolishly, she thinks Bellamy is going to leave his wife because he loves her—and he does love her, don't get me wrong this is so end-game Bellarke because they are young and they've made a mistake—but then she realizes he's not going to do that and if she stays, she can't guarantee a good life for her child. Ultimately, she tells Bellamy that she's going to abort the pregnancy and leaves him. **

**It's not cute like "Ripple Effect", I know. It barely compares to "Lidia" (which I promise to update one day…) **

**Any suggestions? Comments?**

**-Brooke **


	2. Chapter 1: August & Nadia

Chapter 1:

"I'm just saying, flirting with that chauvinistic Neanderthal is a fucking stupid thing to do." August Griffin informed his sister as they walked through the wooded area, hand-crafted bows pressed to their sides. Nadia rolled her eyes softly, opening her mouth to defend her new-found crush but was rudely cut off by her brother's infuriating need to prove that he is right at the time. "I don't like the way he looks at you, that's all…like he's about to offer up the fattest boar for your hand in marriage and take you away." He turned his dazzling blue eyes on his sister, meeting her equally cerulean eyes with a hint of sadness in his voice. They were both pushing nineteen and typical grounder tradition required one of them to go to war and one of them to marry and pass on the family name. It was a matter of time before their mother's relentless antics to postpone any type of ancient ritual failed. "And as the older sibling, I declare it illegal." He smirked—a smirk that often left his mother momentarily speechless—and turned his head towards the visible gate to their village.

"Three minutes older." Nadia arched an eyebrow in response to his declaration before her teeth touched her lip. It was a nervous habit she'd had since she was a child. Church, their Uncle, informed her that it was a learned trait seeing as their mother did it constantly but Nadia thought differently. If biting her lip was learned, then how did August smirk like their father? "It's just harmless flirting, anyway. I don't have any interest in marrying Rex. He's just…cute."

"Oh, yeah because guys who like to repeatedly stab animals are cute." August snorted before he shook his head and let out a low laugh, "And if mom ever found out that her sweet baby girl that never does anything wrong has a reckless streak—"

"If mom ever found out that her sweet baby boy was taking pot shots with those guns we found when we were scavenging last month she would kill you. So, I suggest you shut up." He gaped at her for a second before shrugging as if the matter did not really concern him. Nadia was an expert when it came to reading him, call it twin powers or her keen sense of observation but she knew she had him. "Anyway, if you insist on being a snitch I would chose a better week. You know she's preparing for that summit and as one of the representatives of our _youthful _tribe, she's stressed."

August nodded, "I'll just save it for later."

"Humph, you do that."

They entered the wooden gate and nodded towards the familiar faces of the people they'd spent their entire life with. When they were thirteen, their mother explained that their camp consisted of outcasts from other areas but everyone was accepted within their walls. Multiple cultures combined and as the village grew, so did the need for a government. Both teenagers could remember their mother's objections when it came to representatives deciding the fate of the camp but in the end, she found some type of logic in the system and became an avid part of it. Once asked, she explained her former opinion on the concept.

Neither Nadia nor August could remember a time when their mother was not direct with them concerning her former life. Even if it hurt her to tell them the truth sometimes, she found a way to pull through and deliver because she "owed" it to them to be completely honest. Countless discussions concerning the Ark in which she grew up on, the first month on the ground, her parents, her friends, her mistakes, her sacrifices, the blood on her hands, and the other side of their family were conducted each time the topics were approached.

August had the sneaking suspicion that the story of their father was a little romanticized but he didn't dare ruin it. He also never blamed her for leaving him like Nadia did when she was sixteen. The Ark sounded like a hell-hole, Camp Jaha sounded like it was ran by superior jackasses, and the legend of Bellamy Blake made his eyes roll. In his opinion, his mother did what she had to do to make sure they had a good life. Sure, when he was a child he thought having a father might be cool but there was always Uncle Church and his mother loved him—loved them—more than life itself. From the sound of it, even if she never left camp and even if they'd met their father it would have been complicated. She was his mistress, not his wife. It wasn't like they would all sit around the fire at dinner, holding hands while living the idealistic family life. No, they would have been subject to dirty looks and unwanted opinions and the possible rejections of their father.

And what if he decided to have kids with his wife? Where would that leave them?

"_You're more like him than you think, Auggy." _Clarke told him one time after he launched into a rant explaining why he was at fault, not her and how she should never feel guilty for trying to give them a better life. Unfortunately, he favored him when it came to looks. August had dark brown hair and tan skin, although it was a shade lighter due to his mother's fair tone, as well as most of his father's facial features. Grossly, their mom once added that he inherited his father's body as well as if he needed his mother thinking about _that man's _body ever again. August had hopes that she would eventually fall in love with their Uncle but she was taking her sweet time.

It was just another reason to dislike Bellamy Blake. How was it fair for him to love another woman while his mother spent her life in romantic solitude? She deserved to be happy, too.

Nadia on the other hand, rational as she could be, was an idealist. She thought he would accept them and they would have a perfect life with the famous individuals such as Jasper Jordan and Monty Green. Somehow, she overlooked every negative aspect of their mother's stories and focused only on the great moments. Nadia was a bit of an optimist whereas August was a slight pessimist. It worked for them, though. It was a balance they appreciated when they had to make major decisions or weigh in on their mothers arguments. She was lucky that she looked more like their mother—although, Clarke often argued that she sort of looked like their Aunt Octavia at the right angle. August hoped she was being as idealistic as Nadia even if he liked hearing about his badass aunt and her love for the grounded named Lincoln—how she overlooked all the social opinions of the group and decided it was worth it.

That if you love someone, you don't let them get away because of the opinions of others.

His sister turned sharply to him, just processing his earlier statement about Rex and animals. "He's the village butcher, jackass!"

"Yeah, well he seems to like his job. A lot."

Nadia groaned, "You're so overprotective that it gives me a headache. You don't see me voicing my opinions on your romantic life."

"What romantic life?" He smugly asked, "I'm pretty sure romance is not involved."

"Exactly. You're as big of a pig as the one Rex is going to offer up for my hand in marriage."

He dryly laughed, "The only way he's ever going to marry you would be in his dreams. I will seriously tie him to the loose surveillance tower post and watch him squirm until he rethinks his proposal."

**Review?**

**I wanted to introduce the twins!**

**What do you think of August and Nadia?**


End file.
